I should embrace life rather than pick out the negative aspects of life. This is the turning point in my life I've been wanting to have.

My thoughts, my dreams, my goals, are scattered like a 1,000 puzzle pieces on a table. I say I know what I want, but I honestly don't. I give others advice, but the advice I give out, I don't take that in as "needed information" for myself. I'm real nice, but don't be fooled by my generosity, because I'm a very manipulative individual. Others don't see that characteristic trait in me, but I see it very clearly. I give people excuses upon excuses on why I can't go out for the evening, because I LIKE the solitude. I chose to lie, because a lie feels more reasonable than the truth. Maybe that's the reason why people are pushing me away as opposed to getting close. I don't know how to trust, I don't know how to be a good friend, I don't know how to be a good daughter, a sister, listener, advocate. I want something in life that's ME. Something that can make me a better person. Something I'm not afraid to stand up for. I'm grateful for things I have, but when's it going to be my chance to be nobody else but me? No influences, just me, myself, and I. This IS my final goodnight. I'm tired, I need rest, and I need a shower.
Until tomorrow.

I don't believe I have anything to say except I feel ignored and unappreciated. I'll have my days. That's life for ya'!

How can Photobucket determine these images "offensive"? There are numerous amounts of distraught, inhumane, vulgar, etcetc. photographs on Photobucket and surprisingly THEY are the ones that get ignored because they are exceptionally "okay" and "appropriate". The images depict the artists' sexual orientation and the beauty within that. The beauty within a "full-figured" woman. There's absolutely nothing disturbing about it what-so-ever. What a predicament!








ART IS WHAT IT IS!

I wake up, get dressed, go to school, and come home. If I'm in a good enough mood I'll most likely call one of my friends and have a social affair with them. I spend my weekands with the same people I've always spent it with. I meet new people here and there, once in a while, but I don't allow myself to get too close for I am afraid something will occur. All of this seems settle and stable, but is it enough? Do I allow myself enough freedom? Do I deserve more than what I have? At times I don't think I do. Heh, when I have doctor appointments to attend, I sometimes wish there was something wrong with me. It would give me a reason, an excuse, to leave everything behind. Depression hits me hard when I least expect it, when I wish it not to. Slowly, self-deprecation takes form. I'm almost afraid to write this entry.
Yours always